See ya in October. 

today was my last day as an intern.  *sniff sniff*  say goodbye to overtime pay, flexible hours (i work on a 'whenever i feel like it' basis), and no responsibilities whatsoever.  say hello to five day workweeks, chargeability and utilization and long, underpaid hours.  eh....

i have to say i worked pretty damn hard for my last day though.  my brain's currently short a few circuits, probably due to staring excel in the face for 12  hours a day.  but not as many circuits short as some of the people i had to work with today.  what the hell?  how do people get hired into these places with no working knowledge of excel?  but hey, the bright side to working with such people is that it makes even slackers like me look damn smart. 

so for those of you who dont live in friggin jersey, let me just tell you that at night, there's only ONE bus every hour.  and it's absolutely imperative that i catch the damn bus before a certain time, otherwise i'm walking the 3 miles back to my house from the bus stop, cuz my loving parents will be asleep and therefore unable to pick me up.  i dont want walk 3 miles in heels.  so basically, that means my life is dictated by my bus schedule. 

for example:
- what time you wanna get dinner?  let me check my bus schedule. 
- hey, wanna catch a movie?  sorry, the bus stops running by the time the movie lets out. 
- why are you still at work?  my bus doesnt come for another half hour.

sucks, huh?  lemme tell you what sucks more.  realizing you have 10 min to haul ass to port authority to catch a bus that leaves at 9:50PM, literally sprinting through times square in THREE INCH HEELS, dodging fat tourists, getting there with 3 min to spare, only to find NO BUS at the gate.  no bus!!  so i wait and i wait and i wait.  and at 10:00PM, i realize that the bus doesn't come at 9:50.  the bus comes at 10:20.  BAH.  i am ALL kinds of retarded. 

but you have to admit that i'm pretty diesel.  after all, how many girls do you know who can run in three inch heels?  still, i'm sad.  running is so not good for my shoes...poor shoes  .  feet heal, shoes dont.  *cry*

the key to feeling thinner is wearing bigger pants.

u know something i've never understood?

why do girls like flowers?

"you talk about your 4 hour class like you actually go to it"

ahhhh....so good to have mondays off.  even better to have fridays off too.  i love my long weekends .

so what's been up with me these past two weeks?  lots of sun, lots of BBQ's, lots of fun.  last week, i went to a BBQ at peter's house.  didn't know anyone, but everyone was really friendly.  friendly enough to pick me up and dump me in the pool, white top and all.    this week, i came prepared. hehe.  

otherwise than that....bowling with my backwards spin, learning to shoot pool...chillin in jersey aint so bad after all.  

an excerpt from an article i really liked (on 'unconditional love'):

"God's love is so much different and better than unconditional. Unconditional love, by contemporary definition, starts and stops with sympathy and empathy, with blanket acceptance. It accepts you as you are, with no expectations.  You can take it or leave it. But think about what God's love for you is like. God does not benignly gaze on you in affirmation. God cares too much to be unconditional."
"The Lord watches you. The Lord cares. What His children do and what happens to His children matter.  Watching, caring and mattering are intense. Complex. Specific. Personal. Unconditional love isn't nearly so good or compelling. In comparison, it is detached, general, impersonal. God's love is much better than unconditional."

hmmm...

lastly, words of wisdom
jamjuhn (2:20:09 AM): to say compassion and mercy is weak is to be a fool

i'm out, have a great day! 

Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting..

i'm at work for another hour so i thought, what better way to pass the time than to update xanga??  unfortunately, i have nothing interesting to write.  i know many of you share this same problem, as proved by your entries (haha j/k), and i have no pictures of me with a tan to share either (i spent 56 hours of my spring break right here at 5 times square, don't hate i know you're all so jealous). 

is anyone else sick of the word "cute"?  right now, i can't think of a more horrendously generic way to describe a girl. 

"i met a girl the other day." "is she cute?"
"hey, you should meet my friend, she's cute"

honestly, it can be taken so many ways.  puppy-dog-cute, little-girl-cute, cute-not-pretty, she-likes-me-so-she's-cute, so-ugly-she's-cute....you get my drift.  but mostly it's used primarily because a guy knows nothing about a girl (unless a girl uses it and then it's just usually "i dont want to tell you she's ugly"...but i wont get into that), except that she's cute. 

cute is a dime-a-dozen.  and that sucks. 

but honestly guys.  look for more.  cute only lasts until that one annoying habit breaks the rosy ideal that you have of her in your head.  or the next cute girl that passes by that looks your way. 

and girls, arent y'all tired of being "cute"?  ugh. 

my solution?
DlZZOT:  i'm seriously thinking about becoming a fat slob tho. 
DlZZOT:  fat slobs live such peaceful lives

hahaha ok who am i kidding.  i'm a girly-girl.  i love makeup, i love clothes, i love shoes.  my impulse buys run from $25 lip glosses to $130 jeans.  dude, credit cards are gonna be my ultimate downfall.

lastly:  i need to decorate my cubicle!  since people tend to fill their cubes with pictures of their sig others, i guess i'll put up pictures of me and hunny.    except, i dont have any.  if you have one, send it to me please!!

"We need an emotional retirement plan."

Does anyone else feel like college has been one big painful memory of many smaller painful experiences?  Looking back, even good memories turned sour given the lightning speed at which people enter and leave our lives.  Some appear quietly and leave quietly, others come and go with a bang.  It's seriously taxing on the emotions.  Granted, important lessons are learned and our resilience is tested time and again, but the price paid often ends up being way too high.  (I'm poor, yo!)

Given that, it seems an emotional IRA would totally rock.  It'd be nice to have some sort of safeguard against being emotionally E M P T Y by the time I'm 30.   Where do I start saving?

Life is no joke.  Sometimes it feels like the only way to get through it is to make it into one big joke.  Thank god for the ability to laugh at myself.